Lunch Dogs 8- Spanish Rice

Señors Y Señores:

This is perhaps the Last Benchdogs Post Of The Year . No, it's DEFINITELY the last one, and I'll tell you why.  I don't have any more video to edit! That's it... done... finished... ended... Kaput!

So is this the end of Bench Dogs?

You're not that lucky.

No, this is simply the end of 2008. And with that, the end of season 1. We've released approximately 40 videos, which I know is a lot for a single season, but I pattern myself after the great Trace Beaulieu of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, whose first season was largely experimental, and now terribly difficult to find. So you'd better watch 'em all now, before they disappear, only to rear their ugly heads in future years on a series of expensive DVDs available for your purchasing pleasure!

Wow. 40 videos. Actually, I can't be certain of the number because of the haphazard way they all came together-- different formats, subject matter and lengths, different editing techniques and looks-- why, the only thing that tied them all together was the name 'Bench Dogs'! Some were 2-parters... one was a 4-parter... one was released twice (once with titles and once with voice-overs)... some were promos... some were just 60 seconds long! But I guess there are no rules in the new land of Internet TV shows. Heck, there isn't even a schedule. Now, watching video content  is like going to the library... just go to a section, pick a book and start reading!

But now I wax philosophic. It's the last day of 2008 and I'm reminiscing, I guess. But I did have a point. This last episode of the year is a cooking show. Some of you sawdust heads may groan, but I staunchly hold my view that Bench Dogs is about MAKING STUFF, and while that mostly means making stuff out of wood, it isn't LIMITED to the dusty arts. When we pick up again in aught-nine, a decision may be made to keep the cooking shows in a separate place with a new name... OR IT MAY NOT. Like I said... no rules.

You may notice that once again, I am cooking not a full meal, not a main course, but a side dish. I have my reasons. One of which is that youtube refuses to publish any video over 10 minutes in length. Not 10 minutes, 1 second. I know, I've tried. So any complex meal would have to be split up into multiple parts. So, that's what I'm doing. When my library is sufficiently padded I'll be able to say things like, "Use the main course from episode 42, the vegetable from episode 90, the dessert from episode 186 and the bread from episode 1735 and you'll have an elegant feast." Won't that be fun.

This series of meals is spanish in flavor, and that's because I live down here in Los Angeles. There are more Mexican Restaurants, Cuban Cantinas, El Salvadorian Sopa stands and Costa Rican Roach Coaches here than there are spanish street names. When I came here from New York in 1985, I was used to hot dog stands featuring kraut and red onions, and Italian restaurants serving sizzling pizza by the slice... and don't even get me started on Sliders! So Mexican food was new and exciting, and of course spicy and fattening, and I became a huge fan. Then I went on a diet and became a normal-sized fan.

Spanish rice is one of those sides you can make by the bushel, store in the fridge or freezer, and pop out anytime as a mouth-watering addition to almost any dish. The tomato, garlic and onion flavors mix tantalizingly in your mouth, and... and... oh, I gotta go eat some RIGHT NOW. Watch the video!

HAPPY       NEW        YEAR!

Pete's Christmas Gift To His Daughter!

This isn't an official Bench Dogs episode, but believe me, it fits all the criteria. Pete made a great gift for his little one in the shop at the same time as we were creating the magical Xmas Tree episode (you DID watch it, didn't you? Hmmmmmmmm?), and then edited the footage for his family album. But as I've said, the checklist has been met. This video:

        • Is all about making something;

        • Takes place in the shop;

        • Is NOT excessively wordy;

        • Has "Bench Dogs" written somewhere; and

        • Has ME in it.

Plus, it was edited by the true master, Pete, and so the titles are OFF THE HOOK. 

So watch and enjoy. It's okay if you shed a tear.

Episode- Oktøberfest

Groan... Where Am I?

Oh yeah.... SNIFFF... ouch! My head! Don't talk so loud, willya!?!? Wait-- there's nobody here. It must be the voice in my head telling me what an idiot I am for drinking so much at Oktoberfest last night.

Wait. HEY, is this calendar right? How long have I been passed out? If that's the right date up there then I've been unconscious for, like, 80 days... can that be right?

Oh, Pete left a note.  Lemme open it... ahem. It reads:

                      "I just woke up. We've been unconscious for 80 days. 

                        No more Alpine Lager for me. 

                        By the way, we videotaped the whole thing. 

                        Edit it. 

                        Advil is in the laundry hamper.

                        Pete."

So whatever I did back on Oktøber 10, you can watch it. There might have been dancing. I remember a wall of cups. 

Oboy, I just realized something. I can do this all over again on Wednesday---  that's New Year's Eve! And if the same properties apply, I'll come out of my stupor in 80 days... just in time for my BIRTHDAY. Lather, rinse, repeat and it's July 4th. One more time and we're back to Oktøberfest. 

I think I just figured out how to get through this Recession depression!

Skaøl!

Happy Holidays to all, and may you break all your New Year's resolutions!

Episode- Xmas Tree

Ho Ho How Ya Doin'? 

The winter rite of Festivus is upon us, for those of you who practice. If you don't, fear not... we'll get to your holiday soon enough. Meanwhile, it fell to me to create an apt symbol of this post-harvest holiday, here in this ever-greening world. And not that the holiday couldn't use some greening-- between the massive yearly slaughter of innocent spruces and the deluge of torn and discarded wrapping paper, this season makes up most of the year's waste, I'll warrant.  

For me, a Christmas tree is all about the finely crafted decorations, the bright and twinkly lights and the delicate and sparkly garland. So this year I decided to MAKE a Chanukah bush (one changes to the other depending on decorations, right?), using terrible old packing crate plywood. That's it. There's not a fastener in the whole tree. The entire thing disassembles into flat pieces in 5 minutes! Is that not a top-shelf Ramadan shrub or what? Who could ask for better greenery? It assembles using half-slot joints, in five tiers, with circular joining plates between each layer. I originally wanted to bolt everything together, but it proved to be very sturdy even without fasteners. Just the way a Kwanzaa brier should be.

M      E       R       R      Y       /      H     A     P      P      Y       !

          A NOTE TO YOU, OUR LOYAL VIEWING PUBLIC

The end of the year approach-eth, and so does the close of our first season. When we return, we plan to update our cameras (from crappy, to one step above crappy); our sound equipment (from none to some); and our lighting (from whatever was on hand, to measuring it with a meter, at least). And the layout of our episodes will be more uniform: the same intros and outros; similar subject matter (no more singing episodes!); and we may even write a script... or at least an outline. All this will happen gradually, for our constant pleas for money from you, our loyal viewing public, has left us with nada. Nil. Zippo. Bare coffers (and I think one of you actually took some saltines from the coffers). So as usual, it all comes down to a generous donation from... mom.

Episode- Bench Dogs Bench

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere's Brucie!

Thank you, thank you... thank you all for sitting at your desks in your long johns and clicking on this blog... it means so much to me that you put that much effort into joining me.  Pretty soon you won't even have to read, once you click the play button... you can lie back, cram your mouth fulla Lunch Dog meatballs and watch the episode as the consummate Bench potato you are!

Here we are, another in a long line of episodes that were started a lo-o-o-ong time ago but are only now seeing the light of day. I can explain.

We were novices.

Yeah, we did things all wrong, made things too long, and did 'em for a song. Our mistake(s). But we have since trimmed the fat, learned from our flubs and picked up some tools of the trade to make it all look a little prettier. Of course, then we load it onto the web at a vastly reduced quality, and you are left with some pretty ragged-looking product. 

At some point we will release a high-quality copy of the entire first season for purchase by you, dear viewer, on a finely-bound series of discs, complete with never-before-seen footage, deleted scenes and the coveted gag reel! Best of all, we will reveal to you our favorite brands of imported ale, so you may send them to us by the case. But that's down the road apiece, for we still know not what we are doing.

Ahem. Back to the episode. We actually shot this one on the heels of the four-part plywood table episode. Mostly because after the table was built, Peter needed some seating for it. So he dragged a few dozen board feet of some salvaged wood over to the shop, massaged my ego, picked my brain and came up with these beauties! Way to go, pumpkin eater!

Episode- Garage Conversion

DogBoy Here!

Well, Pete and I are definitely making up for the lull in videos in November... what is this, the sixth one in a week?

I did mention that we had a bunch of raw footage in the can, ready for processing... and this one had the oldest footage in the bunch... some pics were taken almost a year ago! But we finally finished this project and I figured you all should see what was taking so long. I'm proud of it, and not just because it was created without plans, or even the simplest scrap of thought... but because I don't have a lot of experience in some of the other trades that went into the project. Like plumbing. For example, did you know that hot and cold water travel in SEPARATE pipes? Or that drains depend on gravity and the correct slope in the pipe carrying sewage away from the building? I tell you, THAT was an eye opener!

Well, enough jibber-jabber. Watch the video and let me know what you think. Responses are encouraged, even those which point out our flaws. But when you do criticize us, be sure to include your email address... and your home address, and your detailed schedule, and anything you might be allergic to. No reason...

Lunch Dogs 7- Vegetable Soup

More Soup?

Hell yeah... it's WINTER!  And because it's chilly out, you would expect me not to have such trouble keeping veggies from going bad. But time being what it is, inexorable and all that, my favorite greens just don't stand a chance. Well, maybe one chance. And I'm going to show that to you as soon as you click the little 'play' triangle down at the lower left. Don't forget that these new browser windows I'm using can expand to full screen with the click of a well-positioned mouse, so you don't have to wheel in the old Fresnel magnifier  for this one.

Yes, once cooked, the vegetables are safe from decline. Not only that, but you'd be hard-pressed to determine which ones were the older ones to begin with. And while this isn't the best descriptive lead-in for a cooking show... take my word for it, the soup tastes GOOD.

Lunch Dogs 6- Chicken Soup

Freezin' And Famished!

Please... no wisecracks. While it's true that we live in a warm climate, rarely experiencing outdoor temperatures that even approach freezing, we can still feel cold. Even though we're both from the New England states and were used to snowy winters, skiing and snowboarding, we have acclimated to our transplanted home and now can both sense a spine-numbing chill. And this winter in Los Angeles promises to be one of the worst on record-- why, last week the overnight temperatures plunged into the 50's... the FIFTIES! I don't know about you, but I think nobody should have to put up with that kind of arctic deep freeze! Why, going to 7-11 to pick up some hot chocolate and mini-marshmallows the other night, I had to double up on t-shirts and slip into my warmest jeans cutoffs! Brr!

Now you understand why we had to abandon the unheated shop in favor of warmer climes... the Lunch Dogs kitchens. This time we bring an episode so hot it'll make you think back to this past summer's Beach Dogs Episode-- where we bring together ingredients both common and secret to try and recreate my momma's recipe for chicken soup. Hers was so good my teachers preferred I bring a bowl of it to them as a suckup device rather than the more traditional crisp red apple-- they said it kept the doctor away. I'm inclined to believe them. Try it yourself and tell me if it raises your own core temperature-- I hear it can be nippy in Miami this time of year...

Episode- 100,000 LP Record Shelves

Zweegle & Fark, At Your Service:

You know how sometimes you'll be telling your five year old a bedtime story when you go off-book for awhile, and before long everyone your child knows becomes a cast member in the slumber tale? Well, last night yours truly became Zweegle the Eagle, and Peter became the Dark Fark in his child's nighttime circumlocutical fantasy. No, I don't know what that word means either. All I can say is we dug in the sand at the beach down below the water line to find a series of misadventures leading to the lost city of Phunkeytown.

All of this, however, has zero to do with today's Bench Dogs episode. Oddly enough, this episode is the very first one we filmed once we came up with the idea to pass on our knowledge, before we even had the name Bench Dogs! (tm)  Sad but true. Funny how some projects get put to the side for awhile, only to be pursued with fire down the road, don't you think?  The can crusher creation comes sorely to mind... when am I even going to release a Can Crusher update, never mind designing a working model?

But Peter, bless his heart, put together a mini episode-- more of a trailer, actually-- based on this footage, long ago. You might recognize a few seconds of video here and there.  No complaints-- this is not a repeat, and it's not a flashback episode. It's new. I swear.

Episode- Rescuing The BureauDresser

Pete and Bruce At Your Service:

You gotta thank the unhandy people of Los Angeles for this episode. There we were, minding our own businesses, when a rickety old piece of junk furniture from circa 1955 fell out of a third floor window and landed at our feet. Sure, it was crap. Yeah, it was falling apart. Of course it was lonely and unwanted. Whyever else would we be interested in it?

So a few days worth of TLC (Tender Loving Carpentry) later, and this box of squeaks and creaks became a functional, usable member of somebody's family, firmly holding on to their undergarments in a way  that would, for anyone else, be viewed as a little clingy... but for this Dresser, or Bureau, or Chest of Drawers, or Tallboy (or whatever it is), it's just called Doing Your Job. Way to go, BureauDresserDrawerBoy!

So NOT Apologizing For Not Updating

Bruce, The Unrepentant Bench Dog Here:

Sure, it's been a few weeks since we've posted, and by any professional standard, that is simply unprofessional. Well, harumph. As it turns out, we are not considered 'professional' by any of the blog judgement agencies practicing today.  

No, my friends, we are not professional at all... we are AMATEURS.

And so, with a non-remorseful nose wave in the air, I brush off all the cries of desire for new episodes with a Yiddish-style "Feh!"

I'm taking a break.

Truth be told there are SEVERAL shows in the works. But as of this writing, I haven't finished ANY of them. You might say I'm lacking a little creative gusto. So I'm taking a little time off to reflect on the waxing and waning of the moon, to marvel at the power of our life-bringing oceans, and to try and stuff my cranium into a 2 liter bottle of scotch via the power of liquid transference suction. The more I drink, the more of my head enters the bottle. That by itself is worth a video, but as I'm being metaphorical it would be dull indeed-- at least as dull as crouching inside a giant soap bubble at a children's birthday party. But now I'm way off topic.

To bottom line it for you, any day now there will be so many new videos from Bench Dogs to watch that you will have to choose between watching them or going to work. I hope your boss won't mind. 

Lunch Dogs 5- Chorizo & Eggs

Bruce

As promised, Bench Dogs (parent company of Lunch Dogs) in partnership with Brunch Dogs, Inc brings you one of the easiest recipes you will ever have the pleasure of eating-- it has 3 items, takes 2 pans and uses 1 dish, and will put FIRE in your mouth! (my kinda food)

So stand down your lemon zester and holster those ginsu knives-- the prep time for this dish is so short, it would take longer to read about it than watch it, so I'll let you do just that. Just promise me that when you're done eating, you won't dribble sweat all over your computer-- it's bad  for the circuits.

Lunch Dogs 4- Mushroom/Vegetable Red Sauce

Chef Brucé Whetting Your Appetite

I keep promising to produce woodworking videos, and I keep meaning to finish the garage conversion so I can reintegrate the shop so I can produce more woodworking videos, but there's just a little bit left to do which requires my table saw, and after which, I can finish the garage conversion so I can reintegrate the shop so I can produce more woodworking videos.

In the meantime I am home, and that means I get to make stuff at home, and since I haven't picked up a sewing machine or a studding gun, I'm left with food. I'm not complaining-- I love food. But I'm going to have to expand my comfort range, because I'm almost out of Lunch Dogs menu item ideas. See, I'm a simple guy with simple tastes, and much of what I like to eat is often ripped straight out of a package and shoved into a microwave. With just as much delicacy, too. 

Coming up in future episodes of the cooking portion of this blog will be BRUNCH Dogs; that's right-- we're moving to breakfast with Chorizo and Eggs a la Bruce; and down the road apiece I'll show you an easy and delicious way to prepare some good eatin'  filet of Catfish!

But coming up right now is the glue of menu items-- the hearty center of Italian cooking-- an item central to almost every dish, and that is-- RED SAUCE!  And since I like to load my sauce up with just about every vegetable sold on the open market, this recipe is for YOU, my knife wielding friends-- chop hearty!

Bruce's Mundane Flash Of Insight

Bruce, More Here Than Ever...

Man, am I a genius or what? Hmm... maybe 'genius' is a little strong in this particular case. Okay, strike that. Let's go with bright. Err, wait. Bright seems a little much also-- let's try ordinary... nope... normal? Nooooo... simple?   Wait, I got it. Let's start over.

Man, am I EDUCABLE or what?  After writing my last blog I realized there was potential in embedding videos hosted on YouTube (U2OOB?) over here, the biggest plus being its success rate in loading videos-- I can't remember a failure when uploading to the 'Tube (2B?). 

This is important, dear blog reader, because Bench Dogs has other videos! Even better, here they are! Way back in the beginning when Pete and I were first dreaming up the Dogs we put a few experimental ones up. We put no introduction in the videos, and chopped them up like chum when they were too long to fit within YouTube's 10 minute video limit. But there was gold in them thar hills... we could see potential even then.

This first one is called 'Dancing The Record Shelf Jig' and was a part of our first shoot-- the 40 rack job. This was a jig I built to speed up the rack assembly process. While you still haven't seen the video of that whole job, now you can see about 30 minutes of it-- with a 4 minute running time!

Episode- Dancing The Record Shelf Jig

This next one's a four-parter. Coming in on the heels of the 40 rack installation, Pete and I found ourselves with almost a dumpster's worth of plywood scraps.  Never ones to waste materials if it could be helped, we racked our brains and came up with an interesting concept: What about cutting strips of that 3/4" plywood 1 1/2" wide, then gluing them, face-to-face, to make a dining room table? That sounds just awful enough to be kitschy! Come along as Peter takes the lead in this series, laid out in order for your viewing convenience.

Episode- Plywood Dining Room Table (part 1)

Episode- Plywood Dining Room Table (part 2)

Episode- Plywood Dining Room Table (part 3)

Episode- Plywood Dining Room Table (part 4)

And last but certainly not least, rest your gaze upon our quickie project that was conceived, produced and finished in about 2 hours! Pete was looking for a way to score points with a new 'friend', and of course, I was his enabler... But what came out of it was video worthy... plus, I accidently dropped a big chunk of glass onto the concrete floor!

Bench Dogs Quickie- Mira! Mirror On The Wall!

Episode- Pete's Training Day! pt 2

Bruce, The Frustrated Blogger/Woodworker/Videographer, At Your Service

You may notice something a little different about this posting, and you would be right.  I COULD rant about my problems with uploading videos to this blog and the excruciating process of reporting difficulties to the administrator, or I could vent about the terrible waste of time involved in seeing video after video ALMOST make it to fruition, only to be ripped from my eager hands with a polite but indifferent message indicating it did not post. Well, duh.

As I said, I COULD. But I won't. I'll look at the bright side.   I'll be positive. I'll make lemonade from pee. Because the site that refused my posting 12 (that's right, 12!) times in a row was also the site that gave me the great idea of posting it to YouTube, and then transferring the embed code to here! 

It's not like I haven't done stuff like that before, but it's like programming a VCR (what's a VCR?)-- you needed to do it so infrequently that you had to re-remember how to do it each and every time. A drag, yes, but since the solution was so easy and even time saving, I'm happy as a pig in slop. A cat in a sweater. A carpenter in a pile of wood shavings. It was timesaving because I ALREADY publish all these videos to YouTube, so now all I have to do (as I said) is to drag the embed code to my 'edit posts' window. By the way, if you find a Bench Dog video you simply must watch repeatedly, you can drag the embed code to your own blog, or your MySpace page, or FaceBook, or even in Yahoo! Groups-- there are probably many places I've forgotten, but just realize you can do it easily, and then you can watch my crooked puss 24/7!

Oh!  By the way, this is part 2 of "Pete Gets Dropped In The Middle Of Something He's Never Done Before Just So I Can Watch Him Drown And, Surprising But True, He Didn't Drown But Instead Did Very Well For A First-Timer." Enjoy.

Episode- Pete's Training Day!

Bruce (wearing his Doorhanger hat) Here:

As promised, a video about woodworking-- or at least door installing. My other videos, the Doorhanger Training Series, are a rather serious, teaching-oriented attempt to pass my trade to others. Bench Dogs, on the other hand, are a lighthearted, observational attempt to pass my mistakes on to others. This video is a crossover: a rather serious, lighthearted, teaching-oriented, observational, attempt to pass everything on to everyone.

Lunch Dogs 3- Italian/Jewish Meat-a-balls

Hey Folks (from Bruce):

Here's how it is. As I've mentioned before, the shop started out as a place to put the tools I wasn't using for a particular job.  Well, I use a couple of tools so seldom for outside jobs that I thought it best to incorporate them into the shop, which was a great idea, because I use them in the shop CONSTANTLY.

Then came the call from my beautiful ex-wife.

"Could you finish off the garage into a small apartment for YOUR daughter? Pleeeeeeeease?"

Heavy sigh. "Of course, dear."

Well, that's where my table saw and air compressor are for the duration. Remember I said I SELDOM use them for outside jobs, not NEVER.

And this is why you are watching ANOTHER episode of Lunch Dogs.  Don't get me wrong, I love Lunch Dogs. Cooking is another one of my hobbies, and this blog is dedicated to the spreading of knowledge, after all. But I was hoping to cast the episodes out a little bit further apart.  Fear not. Two offsite Bench Dogs videos are in the can right now, and you will soon be watching them!  Huzzah!

Lunch Dogs 2- Veggie Delight

From Bruce, The Other Omnivore:

Another cooking episode? Yes, another cooking episode. You might be thinking, "This is BENCH Dogs... when are we gonna see something with a BENCH?" To that I say just be glad, when I'm doing a cooking episode, that is has nothing to do with DOGS.

Face it, though... everybody's gotta eat.

I have never been one to pass up anything gourmet, or even gourmet-ish. Food is my greatest joy, as evidenced by some old size 40 pants in the back of my closet. Thankfully I've taken control of my passion and dropped 60 pounds (video on that achievement is still in the planning stages-- it's kind of hard to make one when I don't have any video from back when I was a fireplug), but I still love delicious food... only now I make it taste great with flavor, not with fat.

Enjoy this twice. Once when you're watching it, and again when you're eating it.

One Minute Shop Tip- Finding Things

Hey Everybody... Bruce Is In Da Shop!

I was going for a 'Bruce is in da house' kinda thing, but I gotta say, it didn't work out. Never mind-- on to more pressing matters... like organization.

I'm guessing most of you hobbyists have lotsa stuff for your hobby-- you know; tools, equipment, parts, inventory-- that sort of thing. Maybe you had one hobby which had a lot of stuff and you became a woodworker after making a plenitude of wood storage solutions for the first hobby, thereby giving you another hobby. I could go on, but my point is that you always need to know where everything is, or frustration will be your closest companion, along with his brother exasperation, his aunt annoyance, his nephew irritation and his dad disappointment. Today's tip helps to keep you far from them, or at least on the other side of a big fence, guarded by a fierce Thesaurus.

One Minute Shop Tip- Stocking Up

Bruce Dog Up and Running:

Wow! Who knew I could produce so many videos in such a short time! I guess it makes sense when they're just ONE MINUTE LONG. Hopefully these are helpful, and not just the common sense ravings of an egotist with an outlet. I think I'll promise to make the future 'Shop Tip' videos a little more specialized, and not just "How To Turn On Your Lights" or "Using a Screwdriver to Pry" videos.

Next week, "Thermonuclear Power For Your Shop." Or something like that.

One Minute Shop Tip- Screw Cans

Posted by Bruce, the other Bench Dog:

Gettin' a little ambitious, yo! Once I realized how many things I've done to improve the shop it became essential to me to pass them along to you.  This one, I admit, is a little simple-- EVERYBODY uses this tip, I'm certain. So I took it to the absurd. It's kinda what I do.

One Minute Shop Tip- Drill Press

Hey guys , it's Bruce:

I don't want to get too far away from woodworking with these videos, so I bring it all home with a short tip on organization. No matter how much space I have, it always gets filled up, so I devised a way to give myself some more-- by GROUPING. That's great because it's a good solution, but I still have one problem-- now that everything is grouped... how do I make more space?

Episode- The Political Chess Board

From Bruce, The Political Bench Dog...

You all know me as a light-hearted guy, always looking for the fun in life, and I usually like to live up to that image. But recent events have me a little on edge.  You might say I'm slightly nervous. Okay I'm very, very worried. Normally I try NOT to be political-- I never saw the point of, in conversation, raising someone's hackles unnecessarily-- but we're at a dangerous stage in our country's development and it seems that the real truths aren't being disseminated by the media anymore.  

The country is teetering at the edge of our comfortable position as top 'Dog' in the world on many fronts: economic, political and social, to name but a few. We're sending our jobs overseas en masse so the corporations can make more profits (so they can report better earnings to their stockholders, who are us); our bullying international policies are closing down avenues of friendship we've had with other nations for years; we're starting wars for false reasons and killing MILLIONS of innocent people, ostensibly to root out an evildoer named Bin Laden but realistically to line the pockets of aforementioned corporations; and through all this, we're not collecting enough money through taxation to pay for it all, but instead are selling off large chunks of our nation to foreign countries, borrowing huge sums of money (too large to afford the INTEREST on) and allowing extra-national corporations to dictate American policy!

The current administration sees what it is doing as a good thing but I view it as exactly the opposite, and the forecasts by and large agree with me. 

So this video is a reminder to all of you, who hold the power of government in your voting chads, to pay attention to what's important and to elect a thinking man for president. Gather your own information, people! Don't sit back and believe what the idiot box tells you, just because it's in Hi-Def!

About The Project: 

I don't play chess. I don't play checkers. But this project seemed the perfect foil to spread my message. After all, doesn't the term 'chess board' pop up often when discussing political maneuvering? 

I thought I was using oak and mahogany, but the mahogany was really light and the oak (and I don't think it was oak, so I'm going to call it ash on the video) was really dark, so as a chess board, the wood needs to be more carefully chosen for final hue. Because these are reclaimed boards (the 'oak' is leftover flooring and the mahogany is from a hundred-year-old door jamb) I had to machine them for uniformity, as well as removing any prior machining marks. It was very important to account for all future saw kerfs when I planned the size of the squares.

My big problem came with finishing. I'm no expert by a long shot, and I have been experimenting with shellac, water-based polyurethane finish and tung oil (though not at the same time!). I don't have a finish area, so I'm staying away from lacquer for now, though I know that it is a beautiful finish. But when I tried to use shellac, it created a lumpy, wet look that was really junior high shop class in appearance. I used the 3 lb cut straight out of the can-- I think I need to thin it next time. So I scraped and sanded it off, then laid in a tung oil finish which was not as glossy, but looked very homey. Any ideas for better finishes and how to apply them would be greatly appreciated.

Lunch Dogs 1- Roasted Peppers

Bruce at the Keyboard:

The hand of a Bench Dog is not just used for the crafting of wood, oh no. Among other talents, I happen to roast a pretty mean chili pepper. Sit back, relax and watch with a beer in your hand and a couple on deck, and don't forget to keep the fire department on speed dial 'cuz after sampling the wares from this fire-filled episode you are gonna be HOT.

Musical Interlude

Bruce Here.

Horsing around the shop the other day, I recorded something which was so funny to me I had to share it with the world. Funny to ME is no guarantee, however, that it will be funny to anybody else. Take a check it out look see gander and let me know what you think.

Episode- Customer Service Tips For Our Fellow Contractors

Posted by Pete, the other bench dog.

While taking orders in the shop or working with customers at a job site, there are certain signs that the customer might be difficult. By recognizing these warning signs, you can save yourself a potential headache and make your job go more smoothly. In this instructional video, Bruce and I demonstrate how to recognize and handle a problematic customer. Watch and learn.

Bench Dogs Failed Gadget- The Glue Roller

Hey, It's Bruce!

You see it at the top of every Bench Dogs Blogs page- our Mantra.  You know what I mean? The statement about woodworking and sleep? Well, this gadget was designed with sleep in mind, that's for certain.  

The problem with glue is... well, there are many. The problem I refer to now is that it takes a good amount of time to spread glue all over, evenly. This gadget was supposed to solve that problem, giving me more time for... you guessed it. Sleep. Since it didn't work, it earns the title of Failed Gadget and gets its own video as a fitting bon voyage for its final journey-- as smoke,  up my fireplace flue.

Episode- Plane And Simple

Posted By Bruce.

While we were on the subject of gadgets, I got to thinking... when is a gadget so complex that it becomes a tool... or a machine? Here I incorporate a power plane into a table I construct of cherry wood. There's only one moving part--  a guard-- so I can't be sure if this is a gadget, a tool or a machine. I'll just call it a thingamajig.

Bench Dogs Failed Gadget- The Glasses Keep

Hey There, Folks-- Bruce The Bench Dog Here:

Jigs and fixtures... what red-blooded craftsman doesn't have at least a few of them knocking about the shop? And what close cousin of these brothers is always on hand? Why, yes, I'm talking about the gadget. And what is a gadget more than simply a solution to a problem unique to your shop, or a broader one that the industry hasn't addressed yet. Whether it be a rocking-chair type glue dispenser, a velcroed ever-ready pencil at each work station or a handy place to stow your old razor blades, you know there's a plan for something like it that looked good on paper, but just didn't work as designed. Well, Bench Dogs have no shame, so we present to you the first of (we hope) many episodes that begin with the title "Failed Gadget."

Yuk it up, kids. Just pray there isn't a friend with a videocamera around the corner when YOU bite it.

Episode- The Taming Of The Shrub

Hello Folks, It's Bruce!

I was preparing for bed. It was a night like any other. It was NOT a dark and stormy night, though it was a dark night. Not THE Dark Knight-- that would be Batman. Now THAT was a hero. But I miss Robin-- whatever happened to him? And how come Alfred is still alive? He's gotta be a hundred and thirty... Umm, where was I? Oh, yeah.

I was preparing for bed when I heard a crash of ungodly proportions coming from another part of the house. "What the heck was that?!" I thought to myself, dashing for the living room, imagining the front end of a 94 Civic crushing my credenza, or finding two refrigerators in my kitchen, one being the upstairs neighbors... or yet another single engine Cessna with its propeller up my patio. But no... it was none of those things.  It was---

Let's not spoil the surprise, since I'll tell you all about it on the video. 

Episode- Making a Frame For a Mirror

A Post From Pete (the other Bench Dog)

Bruce and I love the challenge of transforming scrap and other unused materials into useful products. Bruce has been doing this for years. When I met him, he was living in a house built entirely of plastic milk crates. Unfortunately, we don't have any video of that masterpiece.

One afternoon, I put an old piece of glass mirror into my truck along with some scrap pieces of redwood that I'd used to make a railing. I called Brucey and said, "Hey, let's meet at the shop. I got a fun little project."

Watch this video to see what happened.

More On The Dog Pound

Here's the west wall of the shop, certainly the most unplanned area to date. It serves mostly as a catch-all for projects under construction, experiments gone wrong, and immoral acts of carpentry. Notice the bench made of an old solid core door. That was the first piece of 'furniture' in the room when it was just a drop zone for Doorhanger. This whole back wall needs to be reworked. I see another Bench Dogs video!

Hopefully you understand how difficult it is to build anything in here larger than, say, a belt buckle. Still, we try.  Not bad for a dog pound.

The Bench Dogs 'Pound' Revisited

You asked for it, and here it is. The other pics of relevance, starting with the east wall. It features another four power tool work stations. The wall has a wide array of hand tools, clamps, drill and router bits, and stereo equipment. The drawers are loaded down with extra bits, belts, blades, discs, knives and parts boxes filled with disassembled gearage, springs, clips, spanners, stembolts, hoosits and of course, junk. 

Here's the 4x4 shop bench that occupies the center of the shop. It's multifunctional-- the table saw is hooked to it, as is the wood vice. You can faintly see the holes for the bench dogs opposite the vise. If you peek around to the right, my hand-plane-turned-jointer is hooked to it also, hanging by french cleat. 

Under the bench on both sides are full-depth drawers filled with fasteners and parts. On the right is a through-shelf for scrap wood up to four feet long. Two sliding boxes also hold small, odd-shaped wood scraps. In other words, firewood.

Bench Dogs Quickie: Dismantling A Lighter For Recycling

Have you ever gone to a garbage dump?  It's a chilling prospect-- we humans are a messy, wasteful bunch.  An enormous amount of product that can be reused ends up there. I do my small part with this video about stripping down an ordinary disposable lighter to its individual parts. The metal pieces go to recycling, but I save the colored plastic bodies for projects. I thought I might break 'em up, melt 'em down and turn 'em into a stained glass project. Either that, or I'd make a colorful house using lighters as bricks. I have enough lighters collected by now to build a small doll house, but my kid prefers to create her own Jenga game with 'em. Maybe I can give the whole lot to Chuck E Cheese's, and they can use them instead in the ball pit. Or, create a video of a domino cascade in colorful plastic. Or better yet, you can add your ideas here and we can do a video on the best one (or the silliest one). And I promise, this is the last non-woodworking video for awhile.  I actually DO know how to work wood!

Episode- The Schimmel

I had recently quit smoking (thank you, thank you), but it was affecting my camerawork.  So much so, in fact, that the video for this episode was all but unwatchable-- I couldn't hold still for a moment, and I was getting ill trying to edit the mess. My solution? Take what still pictures I could from the video and make a slide show, which is what I present to you here.

The Story: A friend is driving by and sees a dilapidated piece of furniture sticking out of somebody's trash. She wasn't sure if it was salvageable, but figured she could use it as a feature piece in a boutique or antique store, so brought it to me for 'freshening up'.

Not really my bailiwick, I thought to myself, being the entrenched doorhanger I was. But if my recent experiences with Pete have taught me anything, it's to never turn down an opportunity to film something, even if it fails (more on failed projects in the future). 

Bench Dogs Quickie- Rubec's Cube

No, It's not a misspelling (mispelling?) of Rubik's cube. It's an entirely different puzzle... and not mine, either. I saw it on the interwebs and thought it was cute, so I built it. Once I built it I had trouble putting it together, so left it be for awhile until a friend's young child assembled it in no time! So I copied the outcome and filmed it. Rubec, by the way, is just an anagram of Bruce.

Episode- Beach Dogs

You must be thinking-- "he's posted two videos already, and nothing about woodworking... what gives?" Fair enough. The real deal is that I was supposed to post 'The Schimmel' episode in this spot, but I clicked the wrong button! So instead, please enjoy 'Beach Dogs'-- what happens when two hardworking contractor-types take a day off, but can't really stop working.

Bench Dogs Quickie- How To Fix a Cheap-Ass Lighter

This was not the Bench Dogs' first video, but it most certainly was one of the silliest. Remember, we're all about the recycling and the reusing and the reducing, and here's a way to get more life out of our most precious among first inventions-- fire.

First Look At The Bench Dogs 'Pound'

Well, here's one side of my shop, the north wall with my Craftsman radial arm saw and Delta chop saw, as well as the Nonamé grinder and drill bit sharpener. You can see all of my additional small machinery on the upper shelves, and behind it all is a lumber rack.  Beneath the Craftsman is an air compressor in a (not really) soundproof box. Remember, this whole thing started as a repository for rarely used and retired tools, so it's far from where I'd like it to be. Are You Listening, Festool Donation Center?

Welcome To Our Inception!

Bruce here:

This blog has been a long time in coming... woodworking has been a passion of mine for most of my life, and now I can share it with others-- how cool is that?

About me:

Born & raised in New York City; finished high school in an artist community in New Hope PA; College in Upstate New York, Industrial Arts Major (which trains people to become Driver Ed teachers); Grad school in Illinois majoring in Industrial Technology (which trains people to train people in Industrial Technology); one year as a high school metalwork/woodwork teacher in Philadelphia; and up to now, I owned a series of reasonably successful woodworking-related businesses: Aberdeen Handyman, B I Friedman Contracting,  Loftworks and BIF, to name a few. 

The one that stuck is Doorhanger, a company which, oddly enough, specializes in hanging doors. This is not to be confused with the OTHER Doorhanger, which is a paper advertisement that is distributed throughout neighborhoods a la door knob: door hangers, get it? Things that hang on doors! And they got the web address first. Oh, pooh. That's why my website is Doorhangerdotcom.com. Yup, two dotcoms. 

Recently, my buddy Pete (who is a closet filmmaker) bought a little digital video camera about the size of a pack of cigarettes that has an hour of recording time, with very good video quality and sound, runs on a pair of AA batteries and has a USB port that flips out so you can plug right into the computer without a cable... and our newest venture, Bench Dogs, was born.

So what is Bench Dogs? First, a little back story. As a contractor, one tends to build up a sizable warehouse of hardware store bric-a-brac-- rare and hardly used tools,  300 half-bags of fasteners, 1000 linear feet of 2x4 (nothing over 2 feet long), et cetera.

 Well, without getting personal, I haven't owned a home in awhile, so instead of renting a three bedroom for myself, my kid and my JUNK, I opted to get a two bedroom and an offsite storage space in the basement of a mini-mall. 

The Good:  Over the years, the room (14'x15', 210 sf) has morphed from a catch basin into a reasonably usable wood shop, with 9 operable machine stations, a heavy multi-use 4'x4' bench and dozens of hand tools and small machine tools in easy reach.

The Bad: Well you already know the first-- it's 210 square feet small, So nothing over 8 feet, ever. It also has open shelving without doors- a very cluttered look. And it's packed-- no room for expansion.

The Ugly: It has no windows, no ventilation and the ceiling height is 6'6"!

Oh yeah... Bench Dogs...

One day Pete shows me his camera when we were in the 'shop'. We filmed his project (I think it was routing the words in a huge sign), and the light bulbs lit over both of our heads simultaneously. His was "Let's do more videos!"  Mine was, "Let's get lunch!"

Now we have over a dozen short videos incorporating our love of woodworking, creative problem solving and an eye towards Green thinking, (hopefully) all wrapped up with humor and insight. Well, that's our aim, anyway.

And of course, there's lunch.