120 Day Update

Hello, all! Bruce here with a quick how-de-do to all the Bench Dogs friends and fans. Pete and I are doing well and have not dropped out in any way.

We're still fixing, making, inventing and designing... only we're not taping it. While it is a meaningful endeavor for us, real life intrudes just a little too often, placing stresses on our time and finances. Bench Dogs videos are a labor of love for us, an unpaid labor of love, so when the opportunity for cash comes itching around, we're likely to scratch it.

Pete is still involved with video creation-- you can find his stuff at

http://www.youtube.com/mittsdad

He still shoots some construction stuff, but the bulk of his creativity is spent on his delightful 5-year-old daughter Storm and their time together, absolutely the most fun Pete can have.

I too continue to run my business, Doorhanger, out of Los Angeles. Can you guess what it is that I do? Please don't say I employ dozens of illegal aliens to place paper adverts on thousands of doorknobs. That's my bane, and the reason why my website has two 'dotcoms' in it-- cuz I was pissed off that they got my preferred name first. I'm at

http://www.doorhangerdotcom.com

I'm honing my writing skills at the same time, by crafting a blog I am particularly proud of. It may very well be my legacy... and will be what I leave the world as a gift. It's called Finding The Perfect World, and it's at

http://findingtheperfectworld.blogspot.com

It is an ongoing and wide-reaching rant about the troubles we currently endure as a society, and my ideas for how to fix 'em. Each post is either a topic of current contention, such as drugs, homosexuality or flying cars; or one chapter of a book (one of 3) that I am writing concurrently; or a commentary on a piece of current events which caught my eye. I throw a lot of pictures in to liven up the read, but there's nothing videoesque... at least not yet. It's definitely a blog for the literate. Well, a blog for people who know how to read, anyway.

So that's the long way of saying we're not gonna be posting any Bench Dogs videos for awhile. That's not to say if something catches our eye we won't be laying down a minute or ten of moving pictures for you to watch, possibly, from time to time. It's kind of in our blood.

But no promises.

Baby Bed

My good friend Peter is picking up my slack in the video creation department, and I thank him for that. So the least I can do is write the intro for the latest Bench Dogs video in our blog. Quite possibly it is the VERY least that I can do.

Perhaps y'all notice a trend in the videos which come out of the Bench Dog Production offices (snicker!)-- Pete's videos are all centered around the love of his life, his daughter. We all appreciate that perspective... well, those of us with children, anyway. His doll house video received the highest "sniffle rating" of any Bench Dog video. People were dabbing their eyes for hours after watching that one!

Me on the other hand, my daughter is fully grown. Cute just doesn't cut it around her latest tattoo or piercing, and the four-inch ear loops, I have to admit, are a little skin-crawly! So for sweet and touching videos I turn to my recent collection of cats. It's true-- up until last year I only ever had a maximum of 2 cats. Thanks in part to the neighborhood cats who have picked up on my feeding schedule, I now maintain eleven-- that's right, eleven-- cats. Don't worry-- only 3 of those are indoor cats. Another two are rescued kittens which are waiting for their full health to return before we put them back outside (at least they won't be making any more babies). My next video, which is only about 3 months in the making, is the modification of a table we keep outside into a weather-resistant storage box for charcoal, cat food, and a crash area for cats that keeps them warm and dry.

Enough about me. Today's video I have entitled "Watch Pete Make What He Thinks Is A Cradle But Actually Is A Mini Four-Poster Bed." That's MY name for it. His title is simply "Baby Bed." He keeps honing his abilities in the shop. If he keeps this up we may have to switch roles. Good. I'm tired of playing the hardass.

Shelving On A Budget

Pete Here:

Many have commented on the fun and easy chemistry that Brucey and I share as carpenters and goofballs in our many Bench Dogs videos. It is only when friends achieve a certain amount of comraderie and trust that they are allowed to make fun of each other.

For example: Bruce was upset over his recent car problems and he got a little bit angry at his daughter. I told him he needed to relax a little. Hanging 1-2 doors a month was way too much stress. I encouraged him to watch some television and reminded him that there are still at least 4 TV shows for which he has not watched the entire series on DVD. Make some soup, I said. You'll feel much better.

So while Bruce was home cutting carrots and boiling water, I sneaked away and did some work. Watch now as I make a set of quick and easy shelves for a client while also making a few quick and easy jokes at my dear friend's expense. Enjoy.

Promises, Promises...

Okay, I have to admit it. I have hit a snag in this whole "Big Changes For 2009" campaign. Here's how it goes:

I wanted better sound, and clearer pictures, and a regular schedule of shop-only episodes. What I got was a crowded, out-of date hard drive; an economy that sucks the big one, and a daughter who thinks Grand Theft: Auto is a game to be played on the big screen of life. Yes, in a 24 hour period, she got behind the wheel of our 2 family cars... and destroyed them.

To be completely fair to her, MY car was on its last legs, and I had been driving with little-old-lady-from-Pasadena care and picking my destinations carefully (Will there be lots of traffic? Are there any hills at all? Is it within 5 miles of home?); but since the car was older than her, I thought she might give it a modicum of respect. She didn't. In protest, the old girl threw a rod, and when my daughter got home the car sounded like a diesel front loader with an attitude... for about 15 more seconds, before gasping its last breath.

HER car, seemingly, was designed by gremlins (though it wasn't a Gremlin), and found multiple ways to tell her to GET OUT, the last being to simply drop its oil pan in the road somewhere. My valiant daughter tried to get home without oil. You see where this is going...

Anybody need 2 CARcasses?

I need say nothing about the economy... except I have 2 'condominiums' for sale... each one is a 4-door...

Finally, I should whine and moan about my crowded, out-of-date computer and how difficult it is to edit an episode when I can only type with one hand-- I have to use the other to turn the crank on the side of my Apple-- my computer is so old I use an actual APPLE.

Okay, enough bad jokes.

My most recent episode is being held up by a cranky program... I'm not sure what's going on, but editing is infuriatingly slow. I probably have to dump gigs of information to get back some processing space. I'm the first to admit that I'm out of my field.

You're gonna love this upcoming episode. It's a rescued table which we're turning into a rain-resistant outdoor kitty hangout and storage device. I designed the insert, so it's sure not to work-- so come join me, if for no other reason except to laugh at my failures!

Coming up I'll be designing and building a console for my new car... don't worry, it's not a 'new' car-- it's just new to me. But it has very little storage space, so I wanna make an out-of-place wooden box to fit angularly between the seats so people can stare and laugh. Or maybe I'll just impress the heck outa you with my creative solution. Wait and see.

All this and more, coming up on the next few episodes of Bench Dogs!

Bruce's Office- Music Podcast (Audio)

Hi everyone.

Pete here to offer you a break from woodworking and cooking to talk about music. When Brucey and I are working in the shop, he's always playing his music on the shop Ipod. He's very passionate about his music collection that contains over 17,000 songs. Every so often, we sit down in his office and listen to 3 songs that he carefully selects by hitting the random playlist function. Enjoy some light banter and heavy sounds.

Bruce's Office- Show #2

Playlist:
1 VAST- My TV And You (Visual Audio Sensory Theater)
2 Lanterna- Turbine (Lanterna)
3 The Tallest Man On Earth- Walk The Line (Shallow Grave)

Bruce's Office- Show #1

Playlist:
1 Deep Forest- Night Bird (Deep Forest)
2 Thomas Dolby- Hot Sauce (Aliens Ate My Buick)
3 Porcupine Tree- Waiting Phase 1 (Signify)

Episode 2.01- The Rotating Cat Food Dispenser

Happy New Yea', Y'all!

I see I'm fulfilling one of my Resolutions already-- to throw a little Southern in it from time to time. It's an important time of year, I think... a chance to remake the old you, to bring it into the shop and give it a remodel, so to speak. I have tried major changes over the years, I've attempted subtle modifications from time to time, but to be honest I can barely make it out of January. Y'all.

So I'm gonna take it easy on myself and just resolve to come up with the most interesting projects I can think of. There are some fun ones in the hopper, but I promised Pete I wouldn't give out any spoilers, so all I can say is... think moving parts. I'll say no more. 

For now.

Well, if I haven't said it before, I'll say it again. Bench Dogs has a mission, you see. We're not just the end result of hapless filming coming from a coupla director wannabees, oh, no. We are filling a void in programming within the genre of blue-collar trades, I figure. Hear me out. Right now, if you search for our type of programming (woodworking or furniture repair, for starters) you'll end up with two broad categories. The first and by far the largest are the under one minute clips with no beginning, no end, and no explanation of any sort, where someone has simply uploaded a clip of themselves performing some task and labeled it 'underwater shoe sharpening' or something. They could be helpful, and I won't knock them.

The smaller category is made up of, for lack of a better term, 'Normies'. No disrespect to that famed 'This Old House' alum, but the copycat shows are filled with detailed operations in immaculate, spacious shops and state-of-the-art equipment. The presentations themselves are much more professional and have titles, music and even some special effects. Yee-hah!

Bench Dogs is different. Bench Dogs attempts to address the wide middle ground, where people have to do their own repairs using simple power tools and low-end machinery. None of the machines in our videos cost over $100 each (some were bought used). We try to show the process without getting mired in the details. We also care about the Earth, and re-use materials whenever possible. That means we won't always have the prettiest projects at the end of the show-- but  they will fill a need and do so in a hopefully elegant way. Finally we try to show how old, broken down furniture can take on a new life with just a few minor repairs. And we try to have a little fun when doing so--by dropping the fourth wall, airing some of the flubs and letting you in on the jokes. And then we pretty the package up a little with titles and music. And an occasional sound effect.

This episode, the first one of season 2, does not involve any rotating cats. I'm sorry, that is an unfortunate side effect of the way I constructed the episode title.  Actually, it has more to do with the action I used to bring small portions of food from a large reservoir of dry food into the cat food dish. I had fun designing it, and because this is a low budget show, you're watching us build it once, and only once, no matter how it turns out... that's the fun of Blog TV!

Tell a friend!   

Lunch Dogs 8- Spanish Rice

Señors Y Señores:

This is perhaps the Last Benchdogs Post Of The Year . No, it's DEFINITELY the last one, and I'll tell you why.  I don't have any more video to edit! That's it... done... finished... ended... Kaput!

So is this the end of Bench Dogs?

You're not that lucky.

No, this is simply the end of 2008. And with that, the end of season 1. We've released approximately 40 videos, which I know is a lot for a single season, but I pattern myself after the great Trace Beaulieu of Mystery Science Theater 3000 fame, whose first season was largely experimental, and now terribly difficult to find. So you'd better watch 'em all now, before they disappear, only to rear their ugly heads in future years on a series of expensive DVDs available for your purchasing pleasure!

Wow. 40 videos. Actually, I can't be certain of the number because of the haphazard way they all came together-- different formats, subject matter and lengths, different editing techniques and looks-- why, the only thing that tied them all together was the name 'Bench Dogs'! Some were 2-parters... one was a 4-parter... one was released twice (once with titles and once with voice-overs)... some were promos... some were just 60 seconds long! But I guess there are no rules in the new land of Internet TV shows. Heck, there isn't even a schedule. Now, watching video content  is like going to the library... just go to a section, pick a book and start reading!

But now I wax philosophic. It's the last day of 2008 and I'm reminiscing, I guess. But I did have a point. This last episode of the year is a cooking show. Some of you sawdust heads may groan, but I staunchly hold my view that Bench Dogs is about MAKING STUFF, and while that mostly means making stuff out of wood, it isn't LIMITED to the dusty arts. When we pick up again in aught-nine, a decision may be made to keep the cooking shows in a separate place with a new name... OR IT MAY NOT. Like I said... no rules.

You may notice that once again, I am cooking not a full meal, not a main course, but a side dish. I have my reasons. One of which is that youtube refuses to publish any video over 10 minutes in length. Not 10 minutes, 1 second. I know, I've tried. So any complex meal would have to be split up into multiple parts. So, that's what I'm doing. When my library is sufficiently padded I'll be able to say things like, "Use the main course from episode 42, the vegetable from episode 90, the dessert from episode 186 and the bread from episode 1735 and you'll have an elegant feast." Won't that be fun.

This series of meals is spanish in flavor, and that's because I live down here in Los Angeles. There are more Mexican Restaurants, Cuban Cantinas, El Salvadorian Sopa stands and Costa Rican Roach Coaches here than there are spanish street names. When I came here from New York in 1985, I was used to hot dog stands featuring kraut and red onions, and Italian restaurants serving sizzling pizza by the slice... and don't even get me started on Sliders! So Mexican food was new and exciting, and of course spicy and fattening, and I became a huge fan. Then I went on a diet and became a normal-sized fan.

Spanish rice is one of those sides you can make by the bushel, store in the fridge or freezer, and pop out anytime as a mouth-watering addition to almost any dish. The tomato, garlic and onion flavors mix tantalizingly in your mouth, and... and... oh, I gotta go eat some RIGHT NOW. Watch the video!

HAPPY       NEW        YEAR!

Pete's Christmas Gift To His Daughter!

This isn't an official Bench Dogs episode, but believe me, it fits all the criteria. Pete made a great gift for his little one in the shop at the same time as we were creating the magical Xmas Tree episode (you DID watch it, didn't you? Hmmmmmmmm?), and then edited the footage for his family album. But as I've said, the checklist has been met. This video:

        • Is all about making something;

        • Takes place in the shop;

        • Is NOT excessively wordy;

        • Has "Bench Dogs" written somewhere; and

        • Has ME in it.

Plus, it was edited by the true master, Pete, and so the titles are OFF THE HOOK. 

So watch and enjoy. It's okay if you shed a tear.

Episode- Oktøberfest

Groan... Where Am I?

Oh yeah.... SNIFFF... ouch! My head! Don't talk so loud, willya!?!? Wait-- there's nobody here. It must be the voice in my head telling me what an idiot I am for drinking so much at Oktoberfest last night.

Wait. HEY, is this calendar right? How long have I been passed out? If that's the right date up there then I've been unconscious for, like, 80 days... can that be right?

Oh, Pete left a note.  Lemme open it... ahem. It reads:

                      "I just woke up. We've been unconscious for 80 days. 

                        No more Alpine Lager for me. 

                        By the way, we videotaped the whole thing. 

                        Edit it. 

                        Advil is in the laundry hamper.

                        Pete."

So whatever I did back on Oktøber 10, you can watch it. There might have been dancing. I remember a wall of cups. 

Oboy, I just realized something. I can do this all over again on Wednesday---  that's New Year's Eve! And if the same properties apply, I'll come out of my stupor in 80 days... just in time for my BIRTHDAY. Lather, rinse, repeat and it's July 4th. One more time and we're back to Oktøberfest. 

I think I just figured out how to get through this Recession depression!

Skaøl!

Happy Holidays to all, and may you break all your New Year's resolutions!

Episode- Xmas Tree

Ho Ho How Ya Doin'? 

The winter rite of Festivus is upon us, for those of you who practice. If you don't, fear not... we'll get to your holiday soon enough. Meanwhile, it fell to me to create an apt symbol of this post-harvest holiday, here in this ever-greening world. And not that the holiday couldn't use some greening-- between the massive yearly slaughter of innocent spruces and the deluge of torn and discarded wrapping paper, this season makes up most of the year's waste, I'll warrant.  

For me, a Christmas tree is all about the finely crafted decorations, the bright and twinkly lights and the delicate and sparkly garland. So this year I decided to MAKE a Chanukah bush (one changes to the other depending on decorations, right?), using terrible old packing crate plywood. That's it. There's not a fastener in the whole tree. The entire thing disassembles into flat pieces in 5 minutes! Is that not a top-shelf Ramadan shrub or what? Who could ask for better greenery? It assembles using half-slot joints, in five tiers, with circular joining plates between each layer. I originally wanted to bolt everything together, but it proved to be very sturdy even without fasteners. Just the way a Kwanzaa brier should be.

M      E       R       R      Y       /      H     A     P      P      Y       !

          A NOTE TO YOU, OUR LOYAL VIEWING PUBLIC

The end of the year approach-eth, and so does the close of our first season. When we return, we plan to update our cameras (from crappy, to one step above crappy); our sound equipment (from none to some); and our lighting (from whatever was on hand, to measuring it with a meter, at least). And the layout of our episodes will be more uniform: the same intros and outros; similar subject matter (no more singing episodes!); and we may even write a script... or at least an outline. All this will happen gradually, for our constant pleas for money from you, our loyal viewing public, has left us with nada. Nil. Zippo. Bare coffers (and I think one of you actually took some saltines from the coffers). So as usual, it all comes down to a generous donation from... mom.